Mother’s Day nay or yay?

So yesterday was Mother’s Day and the one chance of having my favourite cake at home. A celebratory day for capitalizing on no cooking (we ate leftovers) and absolutely no fuss about doing the dishes. Surprise: the man did the dishes without being asked to (?).

I absolutely adore Mother’s Day, just as I adore Father’s Day and Women’s Agency To Not Be A Mother Day, or perhaps there is More to Women than Mother’s Day. I celebrate womanhood, but yesterday I celebrated what it is like to be a child with “my” no mommy day. And as I tucked myself in bed, deeply satisfied with the aftertaste of the Burnt Basque cheesecake, I had an epiphany. My mind serenaded through all the valuable posts, thoughts, and ideas of the day.

Of which, three stood out: a casual comment from a friend on how Mother’s Day arrived in Australia. An age-old adage of children not looking after parents and then realizing that they too will turn old and therefore inventing a day to spend some time with their old folks. As we stood watching families, old and young enjoying the beautiful Aussie sun, I nodded my head in agreement. Over the years, listening is a skill I have acquired and now use quite effectively to navigate tricky conversations, or even at times when I just don’t want to engage!

Perhaps a manufactured day as another friend comments on his Facebook post. His post seemingly congratulates all children for thanking their mother for all her deeds(?)..and then thanks the greater marketing team for manufacturing the need and marketing it! I am at once confused, stressed, amused, and amazed at this rant. Even if we leave aside the language (or the lack thereof) aside, I am totally terrified by this watchdog team that has the god-like powers to sway my mind to manufacture a need to thank my mother on this day. The AI must be led by a mother, or else who would invest time in recognising the most underpaid, overworked, garnering opinions galore job? I won’t call it thankless for I do believe that my kids didn’t ask to be born of me, so I don’t want to rub it in.

But even for the moment that I did make the choice to birth, feed, raise and value another human being, surely a celebratory day every year is not such a big ask?

But I don’t really see how celebrating Mother’s Day increases corporate revenue. And let’s assume we do get the stats on flower shops massively increasing their profits, does it underscore the recognition that thousands of mothers get/may get that they truly deserve? I am for one am really curious about the data from Amazon on their global sales on Mother’s Day to understand the marketing ROI here versus sales on any other day versus their uptake on major sales events?

So, remembering your mum on Mother’s Day, (even though it emanates from insidious insecurity of your own) is not wrong. Marking a special day with a phone call or flowers, cake, or even gifts to show gratitude and love is something that you can do. In my case, it is an arm and leg exercise to get a hug and some cuddles from my boys. And mother’s taking a day off mum duties is okay.

But thereupon I come to the third… the rant about over glorification of Mother’s Day post. The humdrum gets to me too, I admit… the multitudes of posts with mum pics and the mushy long gratitude posts. But would I have it any other way? No!

I get that Mother’s Day post might appear glorifying for those who chose not to be mothers or those who have clinical issues and can’t be mothers. It is hard but can that be a reason even to trivialize all that mothers are and what they do? In this upmanship of who chooses to be a mother or not, it is hard either way. It is tough because no one really is born a mother. Also, one might choose to be a mother sometime and really be overwhelmed with it after. Postpartum depression is a real thing for thousands of women. But I digress.

What is unsurprising is all these comments, rants, and opinions come from men. Men with families, with children, and partners who are also mothers to their children. These men were also born to women (duh) with women who may choose to have/not children. That these men like many others would want to control anything that relates to womanhood.

This post is not a rant on men, but a reflection on the sub-conscious interplay of patriarchy. In this instance, it appears that my characters are men, but they could very easily be women. What is important is that we recognize the all-pervasive patriarchy that exists in controlling every aspect of womanhood and call them out for what it is.